because I care about you
by samhaincat
Summary: When Harry does something desperate and almost dies becuase of it, Ginny loses her temper and at the same time realizes she still has feelings for him


A/N: This chapter is an elongation of Chapter 14 in Solstice enabling me to experiment with various characters and make decisions of who works best with who in the sequel. For those of you who haven't read Solstice, here's a brief summary of the chapter. This is year 6, Harry is doing Occlumency with Snape again but it isn't going well, Snape wants Harry to talk to someone regarding his pent up feelings, especially regarding Sirius' death. Harry lies and says he is talking to Lupin, but in reality he refuses to share his emotions with anyone. In order to fool Snape into thinking he is improving, he steals dreamless sleep potion and takes it in small amounts to numb himself and do better at occlumency. He also steals it to take at night and avoid nightmares. He accidentally overdoses and passes out while playing Quidditch; he injures Draco in the process. After his first night in the hospital wing, Harry is physically and emotionally drained. Snape has 'tortured' him by withdrawing blood in order to find out what potion he took since Harry refuses to tell the truth. This has caused him a lot of additional pain in addition to his injuries, which can't be treated until the overdose is out of his system. Not sure yet if there will be another long shot, errr one shot, if so it would be Draco/Ginny but to be honest it won't be a likely match up in the sequel.  
  
This chapter is dedicated to fan fic writer Melindaleo who during an email conversation described Ginny as 'kick ass Ginny" thereby inspiring my muse and this fan fic. If anyone wants to read more Ginny and Harry I suggest you check out her fan fic 'the power of emotions', it is well done and ongoing.  
  
Because I care about you  
  
She knew Hermione and Ron were going to sneak in later after their potions class but she wanted to see Harry separately. She couldn't believe what Hermione had told her. Harry had overdosed on a potion, that's what had caused the Quidditch accident that injured him and Malfoy.  
  
She quickly made her way over to the beds. Malfoy was asleep in one. She was glad she didn't have to deal with his taunts. She quietly sat down by Harry's bedside. He looked awful; his skin had an alarming grey cast to it. How could he do this to himself? How dare he? They all cared about him so much. She knew how heartbroken he was over Sirius' death yet when he spent time over the summer with the Weasleys he had shunned every attempt to reach out to him. Her mother had constantly tried but Harry would look like a deer caught in the headlights every time she tried to get him to talk or hugged him. Ginny herself had tried but he always brushed her off, got angry or changed the subject. If he had opened up he wouldn't be the mess he was in now.  
  
She felt anger well up inside her as well as despair. They had almost lost him. Glancing at Malfoy one more time to make sure he was asleep and not watching, she hesitantly reached her hand over to Harry's face, lightly stoking his tousled hair.  
  
Years ago when she was just 11 she had had the biggest crush on him, in fact could never put two coherent words together whenever she was near him. He had saved her life when Voldemort had possessed her. She had moved past her childhood idolization but she still found Harry very attractive. That midnight black hair that never seemed to lie flat. Those wonderful green eyes. She smiled to herself and those long black eyelashes of his. She was jealous of those. It took a lengthening and darkening charm to make hers look even remotely as decent.  
  
She knew Harry didn't have feelings for her other than caring because she was Ron's little sister. He had been dating Cho last year but she knew that had ended. He had been distant and distracted this fall and didn't seem to take an interest in anything but Quidditch. Her heart had almost stopped when the game was halted and she realized someone had been badly injured and she couldn't see Harry anywhere. She had tried to fly down to where the accident had taken place but the professors had stoped her. She had been busy pursuing the Quaffle when the accident had happened. When she heard Harry had been involved her heart had made a strange flip. It surprised her.  
  
Her thoughts came to a quick halt and she snatched her hand away when she noticed Harry's eyes opening. He blinked at her hazily and she realized without his glasses she was likely out of focus. She reached over to the nightstand and handed them to him. He put them on wincing slightly and then softly responded with a 'thanks'.  
  
He felt awful, everything hurt. When he took the glasses he had used the arm Snape had withdrawn the blood from and the shards of pain that coursed through him almost made his eyes well up.  
  
He gasped softly. "Ginny what are you doing here?"  
  
"I heard what happened and wanted to make sure you were all right? Can't have our seeker down and out for too long."  
  
He coughed softly, then grimacing in pain he clutched his ribs.  
  
"Do you want me to get Madam Pomfrey?" She whispered.  
  
"No, I'm Ok." He wearily responded.  
  
"Is it true Harry? Did you overdose on a potion?"  
  
He looked at her warily. "How do you know?"  
  
She frowned at him. "Malfoy told Hermione just out in the hallways. So it's really true?"  
  
He broke eye contact and nodded miserably.  
  
She felt anger welling up in her. "How could you be so incredibly stupid!!! Where did you get the potions from?" She yelled in as loud a whisper as she could.  
  
He looked at her with alarm, pulling himself painfully into a sitting position. "I stole them from Snape. Ok!"  
  
She looked at him with disbelief. "You stole them, why would you do such a thing? What were you thinking? Harry you could have died! You couldn't have planned this and purposely overdosed?"  
  
Anger flowed through Harry briefly. It as on the tip of his tongue to tell her he hadn't purposely overdosed, that part was an accident but she had no right getting mad at him. He lashed out at her. "Maybe I want to die! Maybe after Sirius nothing matters! Maybe...."  
  
SLAP  
  
Harry never got to finish his sentence. For a moment there was silence as they stared at each other in shock. Harry's breath caught in his throat as a wave of pain washed over him. His hand came up to his cheek, he remembered Snape growling at him that one of the after effects of overdosing on dreamless sleep potion was an intolerance to pain, everything hurt 100 fold times worse than it would normally. With a pain filled breath he slid away from Ginny causing a nauseating stab of pain to now shoot through his broken ribs. His eyes filled with unwelcome tears despite his desperate attempts to blink them back. He turned away from Ginny, the last glance he had of her was her horrified expression and her tear filled eyes.  
  
She realized suddenly that because of the overdose Harry hadn't been given any pain relieving potions. Her anger at him saying he wanted to die made something snap inside of her. She had slapped him. Slapped Harry Potter. Harry, who had saved her life and had always been nice to her. She bit her lip to not burst into tears. She had hurt him when he was already so hurt.  
  
"Harry I'm so sorry." She choked out, she reached out to him but he backed away causing himself even more pain. She tried again. "Harry please I'm sorry. I don't want you to die and when you said you wanted to, I just lost it. I didn't mean to to..." she swallowed and took a breath. "to hit you."  
  
His hand was over his cheek and his head dropped as the pain and nausea made it hard for him to breathe.  
  
She noted his eyes were closed, those long dark lashes resting on his pale face. She tentatively reached over stroking his hair. "Harry please."  
  
His breath came in shallow small pants as he tried to deal with the pain in his ribs. He felt Ginny's hands on his hair. Then a slight shift in the bed as she sat on the mattress beside him. Her arms softly went around him.  
  
"Harry, I know you miss Sirius but to want to kill yourself is totally selfish! You have many people who care about you and how do you think we would feel if you killed yourself? Didn't you even think about us? Or do you just not care about us?" Ginny sobbed softly on his shoulder but there was also still anger in her voice.  
  
Harry shuddered, guilt overwhelming him for not having told her the truth. He tried to choke it out but his throat had closed.  
  
"How do you think Sirius and your parents would feel knowing that they sacrificed themselves for you and you just carelessly throw their sacrifice away like this?"  
  
A soft cry escaped Harry's lips at her words. He hadn't done it on purpose but what he did, almost did end his life and suddenly he felt overwhelmed by his stupidity. The tears he had so valiantly been fighting back spilled over and his arms went around her. He managed to choke out "It was an accident, I wasn't trying to kill myself, I just wanted to fool Snape into thinking I was mastering occlumency."  
  
Ginny sighed deeply in relief. "I'm so glad you didn't try to kill yourself but Harry this wasn't the smartest thing you've ever done."  
  
He soggily responded. "I know, neither was getting Sirius killed last term."  
  
"Shhhh, that wasn't your fault." She sat back slightly wiping her face. She moved closer again feeling terrible for having upset him so badly. She brushed her hand lightly against his face wiping away the tears that had escaped. He took a shaky breath squeezing his eyes shut, trying to get his emotions under control.  
  
She kissed his cheek, then his nose, then captured his lips with her own. His green eyes flew open and he looked at her startled. She grinned softly. "To help distract you from the pain." She kissed him again and this time he moved closer and kissed her back."  
  
He couldn't understand why kissing Ginny felt so good at this moment in time but he didn't want to stop. His voice was soft and husky. "Ron is going to kill us."  
  
She grinned mischievously. "Ron doesn't need to know." Kissing him on his forehead one more time, she got off the bed. "I'm really sorry about..."  
  
Harry nodded wearily. "It's ok, I deserved it for letting you believe I was trying to do myself in. "He smiled softly. "You have your mothers temper." She blushed and laughed, her blue eyes sparkling. "You best remember that before you do something like this again."  
  
He nodded with a little smile on his face.  
  
"I better go before I get caught. Get better Harry and soon."  
  
"I will and Ginny....thanks."  
  
She smiled back at him as she left the hospital ward. 


End file.
